Mission: Pedroia

A Red Sox game is usually as good a time as any for me and my emotions to get together and reacquaint ourselves. Exhilaration, disgust, love, hate, depression, anticipation, fear and sometimes even sheer terror. Well, terror hasn't shown up yet this season. That will be arriving with Gary Sheffield, when he and his Detroit Tigers invade Fenway for a four game set a week from Monday.

Speaking of Mr. Sheffield, I actually felt scared for Daniel Cabrera last Sunday when he hit Big Sheff in the back. That is saying something, seeing as the 26 year old Cabrera is listed at 6'7, 258 lbs. Normally, in a fight, that's my horse, but not here. Are you kidding me? I would put nothing past number 3. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if has a Mortal Combat esq. finishing move just waiting for the right combination of factors to line up. I wouldn't put Brad Pit in Snatch up against Sheff. He evokes terror in my belly. I'm not a religious man, but I thank god every night that Cashman saw fit to trade him out of the Bronx. I'll take my chances with Bobby Abreu and Melky Cabrera any day. I fear Mr. Sheffield more than sink holes. I fear Gary Sheffield as much as Dustin Pedroia fears his cell phone every time it rings and he doesn't have an eye on Theo Epstein.

Can you imagine being Dustin Pedroia right now? What it must be like being a major league ball player and waking up every morning knowing there is not one person dumb enough in the entire country to have you, the starting second baseman for the Boston Red Sox, on their fantasy team? To know if you could just hit your weight things would be looking up? Especially sad because our homegrown youngster lost twenty pounds in the off season.

The most frustrating part of it is how over matched Pedroia looked as a September call up last year. I mean, he's only twenty four. We saw what happened with Hansen and Delcarmen, Theo rushed them to the big leagues and now the are completely off of the radar of most of Red Sox nation (save for the occasional resurrection of the Helton trade talk after one too many pints).

What was the rush? Would another season in Pawtucket have been that bad? And, let's face it, this isn't a case of hindsight being 20/20. If not for Dice-K, this would have been the most debated topic in spring training. Why was it even necessary? I'm not going to touch Alex Cora here, we all know what type of ball player Alex Cora is. As Belichick would say, "he is what he is." I'm wondering why we decided, on a team with a payroll larger the GNP of Guatemala, we had to draw the line at Mark Loretta? We couldn't have signed him to a one (or, gasp!, even two) year deal?

It's worth noting that he is hitting .366 right now for the Houston Roger Clemenses. He has 7 rbi's and an ops of .824. All this in only 41 abs. You could argue that this is not a large sample, and he's doing it in AAAA. I may agree if we hadn't watched him perform here with our own eyes last season. Pedroia is batting, gulp, .172 with barely enough rbi's to rub together (2) and a Rich Gedman esq on base percentage of .518. I'd like to see Bill James swing those numbers. Hell, I'm betting Bill James could fly in from Kansas and put up those numbers.

I'm not saying Pedroia can't be our starting 2b of the future. I remember being excited when we drafted him. Sure, I was straight off of the Moneyball kool-aid and had pre-ordered my Kevin Youklis jersey, but still. Youklis has proven Theo can get guys who can perform on the Boston stage that other teams wouldn't even consider drafting. But we need to remember this is Boston, and even the strongest 24 year old mind can still get scarred when you're praying for the mendoza line before bed, and scared to eat in public. This isn't Kansas City where Alex Gordon can find his way batting .167 and striking out at a rate that makes Wily Mo Pena look like Wade Boggs.

I know it's only May 2nd, but it's at the point where I'm magically having to go to the bathroom every time the eight hole comes around in the order. I get nervous. I feel bad for him. I try to will him to get a hit. I don't think I can take this for 162 games, and I'm not sure he can either.

The good news here is Mark Loretta may be available at the trade deadline. I'm just saying, we could maybe use him. I can see it now: our own number 3 striking fear around the AL East from the bottom of the order. Hey, a guy can dream, and while I'm at it, forgive me if I take a second to see Loretta receiving the toss from Youk, and relaying it to one Mr. Todd Helton on a nice little around the horn 5-4-3 double play. That may evoke some Euphoria. I love being a Red Sox fan in May.